Endings

I leave tomorrow for 7 weeks of camp in Michigan. I love camp to death, but it's the first year that I'm apprehensive. For once I am finally content with my situation at home, and I have made so many new friends. I really need to let go of my regrets and embrace these next few weeks. I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!! Sad to say goodbye.

Big Bay

So allll my exams are done! After my last one I met up with Sam, Pete, and Case at Big Bay. They were all on shrooms and so of course like complete goofballs. And I leave in a week exactly, and Gus leaves in days damn make it stop. And I keep on getting invited to all these graduation parties but I will be gone for all of them. It stinks, I feel like these opportunities only come once.

Then Pete and Case left to go to work/eat apple pie, and Sam and I talked for a wile, then Ian came along. I feel like even if I talk to Sam for a million years I still will never know him. He even told me that he is attached to no one. And I defiantly feel the absurd combination of closeness and distance. Anyway, it was nice to hang out with him, even though these chilly June days are aggravating me.

I've been on a weird sleep schedule lately, but I really can't complain.

Pictures

Guess who's on my miiiinddddd

I will miss seeing Gus everyday in photography. I will miss seeing Ian and Case too. Damn you summer, take me back to March, when Ian took this picture of me.

Mes Amis

Marie came over to study today. Then Gus came over. He got a haircut, and is now ever cuter then I remembered. I don't know what to do with myself, or him. But it's true that scent memory is the most vivid. la la la la la la la

Summer

Misty settling over the lush greenery

of prolific

ripe peonies

that are in my bedroom

normally with outstretched neck I welcome

tiny as the creeping

tender ants

I smell you, and sleep sleep

cycle of days and food and thoughts

suspended in the fog

above these chilly June days

resentment over warmer days

pushed against the clouds

in blossomed animosity

and ambiguity

Fingers spindly

and skin soft

and here encaptured this man

of stories elusive

and forces of circles

inside my stomach

that wobble and hook

and spin around and upwards

until reaching the tip of my brain

where the washed out corners

collect to form a place

Leave your scent traced on the pillow

sneak through in unexpected brilliance

of the tumbly lack

and you rabid heartbeat

has been heard

exams

I cannot study for my French exam. I will resort to drinking some tea and wasting time taking pictures of myself. That sounds like a far better plan.

Notice the cat on the bed.

Secret

I wish I could take the art film seriously

But I was actually more focused on your breathing

And the fact that I still don't speak Italian

photography

This year my photography class has been amazing - mostly because of Medved, Ian, and Case. And of course the internet. I will miss is throughly.