MMM

;)

‎"that's the best revenge of all: happiness. nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life." Chuck Palahniuk

Naked, Really

I look down at this body of mine

my shoulders, tan

and there is a scar on my back

I look at the back of this body

and see two inches too short

and see scars that are disformative

and see a slight curve

that is perfect for cuddling up against

and strength-fully sexy

"I would masturbate the hell out of that scar"

but I don't reveal it so I can't get too far

I look down at these legs of mine and see

too stubby

pocked by mosquito bites

that form rough bruises

that say "yes, I hiked the Canadian lakeshore

and have been bitten by unruly horses many times"

and when I put on those black slick shoes

my legs can kick right back.

and then I look at my ass

perfect for cuddling up against

a perfect handful when someone presses their mouth against mine.

and my thighs monstrously large -

I will eat salads for weeks to decrease those trunks

but they are as unshrinkable as my desire for chocolate chip cookies.

I look down at my tan and veiny feet

with a bunion that "wants to talk with its twin bone in my right foot"

with calluses on the sides from dancing five nights a week

and a scar from the time I was barefoot in the creek

and sliced my foot on a fishing hook

I hate my body that I look down at

when I am in public I feel to fat

my stomach is supple, that word that I hate

to weight 118, I'm resigned, is my fate

but sometimes

when I'm getting out of my cloths

I look at my arm muscles

and my 5'2" frame

and I run my fingers along my skin and think

"but this is beauty"

and I look down at the lines from my foot to those dimples

at the end of my back

and see how sensuously I can slide around

and I like the way every curve folds into another!

I'm trying to believe myself.