Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Watch Now, Carry

the shortness of breath 
and eyes eyes there 
ha! so at thin point you hate my wilish ways
and now you why you are just there?
analyze, anhiliate
spell things incorrectly and as jagged now that you know
can you see are you interested
will you linger for more then the surface please please
why are you even here

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Sam's Red Car




the first time I came he was jumping on top
his hair was up down, my heart was a-flop
the seats tilted back, my neck held in strain
with no knowledge of what I had yet to gain

the crazy woot woot of passion and dirt
with folly and life we always would flirt
thy head out the window alive with the air
theses good times I see were only a snare

he taunted and laughed, pinning In God We Trust
the framework of red, the earth was our lust
wheels turning and stopping, I know every seat
was the joy you delivered just a small feat?

the picture of life, the smell I still hold
injections of hope would soon make me bold
cannabis incense, a small little bear
a banner of comfort that you came to bear

socks only he wore, on the first night it snowed
we scurried inside, my thoughts failed to mold
you took us through the thin darkness and sleet
sparing me movement of my little feet

horizontal in blankets, I slept in your grasp, 
as he drove you onward, my life was a gasp
a tiny wood dragon, propped up just for fun
I think back and know that my life I had won

I saw you today, idle under the snow
adventures of wonder I never will know
mobility valued, as upward you took me
the ways that I love you, the times that I now see

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I'm a Homebody





I'm staying at home tonight, a night in.  I've been counting, I've only not gone out on the weekend three times this year. I am surprised at myself, last year I rarely went out at all. 
This is my realization!  I actually do things with my life this year, I have changed so much for the better.  I'm relieved that I finally know who I am. 
Pictured: fun nights that have occurred lately

Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Time We Had

the reason my heart goes tip tippy ting ting
is watching a new bird gracefully sing

the reason my soul jolts awake in the dawn
is laughing a hippy caw out on the lawn

the reason for fun in the mid day of school
is flying away, defying the rule

the reason my poems were bouncy and agile
is toughening feet, never too fragile

the reason for music, the days never long
is somehow removed, now utterly gone

the reason I wake up, the reason I sing
is still making my heart go tip tippy ting ting


Monday, February 9, 2009

I Can See the Grass



Yesterday was Janice-faced, deceptively like spring, it lifted my spirits from the winter guck. However, it as also Sam's last day here.  I hung out with Gus, Orlee, and Ian on the long stretch of beach (Orlee in green, me in black, Gus in the distance, photo by Ian).  It was so much fun, but Sam's leaving was a sword of Damocles I could not ignore. 
So, I went for a 4 mile run.  Some hipster man on a bike gave my eyebrows when I leaped over a newly melted puddle like a gazelle. It felt nice to be alive. 

Friday, February 6, 2009

Devil Tree

written May, 2008

Afraid of what will happen if I get far. If I get near?
Like a child with a marshmallow
I wanted one
Maybe two
Maybe three.
I don't like the taste of cheap chocolate
Or punctuation.  Punctuation tasted like care
Punctuation tasted like "good night"
Or just night
"im going to bed, so should you"
"well sometimes it's good to be wild"
"are you thinking what im thinking"
"no problem, i enjoy a night with a beautiful girl"
But none of these words were spoken. Then what were they, thoughts?
false?  Recordings of something so frail and shattering as the container 
that housed them?

I saved them. Never actually bothering to talk to you.
A few times.
But the words were choppy.
And punctuated with laughter. 
And then they were smooth. As smooth as my body slicing through the night.  Swirling, cutting. Jerky, secret, madly visible. As smooth as the red satin that just barely kept me real. As smooth as my white shirt billowing down.

You hugged me. In your big black sweatshirt. In my big pink sweatshirt. It was all big. The first time. Happy birthday.  Happy birthday

delete delete delete delete delete!!!!!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Are YOU a second semester senior?



If your not, then make friends with me quickly. Because some of my most brilliant friends will be graduating come June. NOOOOOOOOOO
I can't decide wether to throw myself into a relationship that might be over sooner then it began. Is it worth it?