Over the past months, I have had three incredibly vivid dreams. I feel compelled to write them down.
Wednesday, February 2
I was on a stage, probably the Marcus Center in Milwaukee, WI. I was in a ballet, and I had just performed well, and was in a lead role. Suddenly, a menacing man with very frizzy red hair handcuffs me. He is short and skinny and has lots of freckles. I know what it is for, I was expecting him. I tell him not to take me away until I do my bow. I bow, then go backstage and am handcuffed. He is taking me to rehab. He leads me down a dark and grimy staircase, with Duncan, my improv director. Duncan’s name in the dream is Ben. His phone starts to fall out of his pocket and even with my handcuffs on I use my hands and the phone against the canvas wall to slip the phone back in his pocket.
We walk outside to a small silver car, I am no longer wearing ballet clothes (I think I have shorts on but I don’t quite remember). In the backseat of the car is my brother and a midget in a high chair. Duncan/Ben says he will sit in the back, and my brother and I both sit in the front seat. It’s pretty smushed.
We start driving to the rehab center, we are driving along the California coast. The sky is purple and pink with clouds, it is the crazy smog sunset. The window of the car is rolled down. I look at the beach and there are thousands and thousands of Canadian geese on the shore. As I look more closely, the geese morph into wild horses, mostly black and brown, running wild along the beach.
We decide to stop for food at a fast food place with a very very bright colored sign. This guy I hooked up with first semester, who I’ll call X, begs the man with the red hair to let him take me on a walk instead of eating dinner. He says yes, and I walk with X. I no longer have on any handcuffs.
Now I kind of go into X’s mind and see his past as he talks to me. He tells me his mother was a seamstress in a circus (I see a large purple tent and billowy sheets/canvas). His mother sewed cloths for one of the acrobats (I see an exotic looking girl of about 10 or 12 with striking brown eyes, wearing an arabian costume, with a woman sewing next to her). X tells me he fell in love with that girl when he was 11 but now he doesn’t travel with the circus anymore.
We walk back to the car, the sky is still bright purple and pink and it is hot, but not uncomfortable because there is a lot of wind. There is is jungle looking area next to the car. I kiss X and then go back to the car. The dreams ends.
Thursday, March 24
My father has died, I know this. I am in a desert climate. My brother, Thad, and I are in a room where all the colors seem kind of faded, and dusty. Thad tells me he is in charge of embalming the body. This disturbs me because in real life my parents have made it very clear that they want to be cremated, and Thad is only 16. This upsets me so much I decide to take a walk outside.
Some men are playing a basketball game outside, it is mid afternoon. One of them is Eli, my friend from camp. He can tell that I am upset and comes over, and I explain the situation to him. He is a Christian Scientist, just like my father, and thinks that it is weird that he therefore chose to be in a wake and be buried as well. Eli is wearing a red mesh sleeveless jersey. He tries to comfort me, and eventually lies down on some grass. I lie down with my head on his stomach and he tells me to listen to his breathing to calm down. I feel a little better and go back inside.
Right near the doorway there are two blond twins, and they have their shirts off. They are maybe 15 or 16 years old, and have hair to their shoulders of shiny blond. One of them it tattooing the other. I talk to them briefly but don’t remember our conversation.
Thad is about to take my dad’s body out of a French door closet. I freak out and leave again. I walk up this road, there is an old west feel. The road is dusty, and going uphill, and I am walking on the left side. There are hardly any people, I become conscious that I am wearing al black. There is lots of trash sort of blowing around, plastic mostly. I walk into an antique store where there are lots of cobwebs. I look for some tennis shoes. The dream ends.
Thursday, March 31
I am trying to fly home for some holiday from California. I am waiting forever in this train station, and the train finally comes. I am whisked away to an airport. The airport looks like a 50’s diner on the outside, and the whole bottom floor is open air. Everything is a sort of tacky teal color. I am really confused, my ticket is very cryptic. I look around but there is no one who really seems authoritative to ask. I just blindly go up this winding staircase.
Suddenly the 50’s vibe changes altogether, everything is red velvet and gold. I wonder if I am supposed to be here or if it is a check in level just for first class. On my right are crowds of people trying to get through security, really frantic. On the left are the typical airline check in counters. I see one sign for a company, and then spray painted over it is the name of my airline. This seems odd but I make my way over there. On my left is this guy from CMC, Ethan, behind an ice cream counter where a check in booth and assistant typically would be. He is wearing a dark green apron. I’m relieved to see him and ask him if he understands where I should go since he works in the airport. The only thing I understand on my ticket is that my flight takes off at 2:10 p.m. Ethan pretty much ignores my plea for help because he is trying to give me a free scoop of peanut butter ice cream. I’m frustrated that he won’t help with finding where I should be but free ice cream is pretty nice of him, even though I really don’t like peanut butter flavor. He gives me a cone, and I start to eat it and realize it is gelato, and tastes really good. I’m having this sort of happy moment and then I look to my right at this clock really high up and it’s 2:15, so my flight took off 5 minutes ago. The ice cream cone vanishes and I run up to this man in a white uniform and a hat.
The man is probably about 50, and I tell him I am basically clueless. He rushes me over to this big white cylinder. He opens the door to it and tells me to go in. Now I’m in a white tube. There are white stairs that fold down from the top of this tube I’m in, which make no sense because you would have to flip the whole tube upside town to go up them (it’s weird and made sense in the dream). I go down another set of white stairs, into this glowing circular screen. Suddenly I feel my particles go weird and I’m zapped to the end of security. I walk out of security through an open wall, then see my plane.
It is hardly a plane. It is literally an old purple eight person van from the 80’s with wings. I get in. There are five other girls on the “plane” and they are in some trashy group like the Pussycat Dolls or something, just bimbos with too much make up on. I feel a little weird, and the van/plane smells like cigarettes. The pilot makes sure we are all seat belted and then takes off, using the steering wheel to fly. We are not flying very high, as the windows are slightly open to take in oxygen, we are probably at a mid size skyscraper height. I look at my phone and think I need a new one. I look down over California and see palm trees. The dreams ends.
